Nadia asks, “How do you handle rejection?”
Nadia asks, “How do you handle rejection?”
You can find out more about Nina Purewal and her work at NinaPurewal.com.
If there’s a question you’d like to ask, or if you have advice to share, you can reach us at listen@akidspodcastabout.com.
Check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.
It’s OK To Ask: A Kids Advice Podcast
S1 EP05, Rejected
[INTRODUCTION]
Nina: This is It’s Okay To Ask: A Kids Advice Podcast.
I’m your host, Nina Purewal.
You know, every single week or maybe even every day, we get confronted with some really big questions about what to do in certain situations, how to react, what to say to people when they hurt you, or even what feels right or wrong.
Asking for advice from people in your class, those you do activities with, or even your friends is a really great way to help inform your own decision-making choices.
And it's okay to ask. That's why we're making this show.
We really want to provide you with a safe space for asking all the questions that you have, whether they're big or small.
And sometimes you need to ask more than one person. You might need to ask a couple people for advice before you know what to do.
And that's why we've created an entirely new and different kind of podcast, a dynamically created podcast. This means that no two listens are the same. Listen to the episode, then delete it and download it again for a totally new outcome, just like asking a few different people for advice! How awesome is that?
Well, today's question comes from Nadia.
Nadia asks, “How do you handle rejection?”
Wow, Nadia. That is a fantastic question. And I'm sure the grownups listening want to know what kids have to say about this too? What do you think? How do you handle rejection when it happens to you?
Let's hear some advice.
[ADVICE FROM KIDS]
Choice 1
Aria: Hi, my name is Aria. I'm eight years old and I'm from Ontario, Canada.
The way I handle rejection is I tell myself, “It's okay. It happens to everyone. Let's start fresh and move on to something new.
Choice 2
Bianca: My name is Bianca. I am seven years old. I live in Ontario, Canada.
You can handle rejection by being happy, how you did, and you could be sad too, but you could also focus on something that was exciting, like you have a play date with your friend and you're looking forward to that. So you can look forward to that.
Choice 3
Cyla: Hi, I’m Cyla. I'm nine years old and I'm from Atlanta, Georgia.
How I handle rejection is most of the time I just expect it because it happens a lot. For example, if I really wanted a toy and I knew that I probably wasn't going to get it and when I didn't get it, I expected it… so it didn't make me too mad or.
Frustrated. And even when I do expect to get something or expect to do something correct, or get a good grade or get a nice toy, or a part in a play, or a part in a movie… When you do expect it and you don't end up getting it, you have to just move on because it's not good to stay in a place of anger.
And if you stay in a place of anger, you could get all mixed up and that's not good.
It's not good because you can start thinking things that are bad about yourself or other people, and you can express that and raise that can hurt you and others, and you don't want to hurt others. Do you?
I normally have a process to stop thinking about how upset I am that I didn't get something. I take a deep breath and try to think about something else that's going good.
And not that thing that is making you mad. Um, I focus on something that I've done, that I'm really proud of myself and eventually that memory of rejection will slowly start to fade away and you, and you will start to forget about it and it makes it much easier to feel better about yourself.
Choice 4
Jonah: Hi, my name is Jonah and I am 11 years old and I live in Maryland.
How I think you handle rejection is by maybe going to a friend to comfort you or go to a family member because they're always there to support and help you and make you feel better.
Choice 5
Leo: Hi, my name is Leo. I am nine years old and I live in California.
How you could handle rejection is face it and walk away. That's one way I see.
When people get rejected, most people don't do that. They try to reject that person back, but that's not the right thing to do. I say just walk away. Who cares?
Because when you do that, you're not thinking about anyone else, which in that time is good, but in other times, sometimes you need to think about others.
[SIMILAR EXPERIENCES]
Nina: Welcome back.
You know, the advice we give often comes from a place of experience.
When we talk about rejection it's because we've gone through it too, and it helps us understand what to do next when situations around rejections come up again.
Let's listen to a similar experience from one of your peers. A peer as someone who was close in age to you or has had a similar experience.
Here we go.
Choice 1
Aria: Hi, my name is Aria, and the time I experienced rejection was one day when my little sister asked me to make something for her toy. So when I did and I gave it to her, she did not like it. So I felt like she rejected my idea.
And. I didn't give it to her.
Choice 2
Bianca: Hi, my name is Bianca and I experienced rejection when I thought I was going to get my karate belt, but I didn't get my karate belt, but I was happy of how I did.
And I tried my best.
Choice 3
Cyla: Hi,. My name is Cyla. And one time I got rejected was when I was really excited. And I really wanted a part in this play. So lead wrong. Well, it wasn't the lead lead role, but it was the lead role. Like everybody wanted it. Um, I believe it was Abu in Aladdin. The monkey, the silly monkey.
And I tried out for it. I tried out for him and I worked all my energy into it, and I was really proud of myself. And then when the results came in, I was… very… I felt very rejected because I didn't get the part and I was very upset. So I took a deep breath and I thought, “I did a really good job trying, and that's all that matters.”
And slowly but surely that memory of rejection faded away because I was focusing on something good that had happened out of that experience.
Choice 4
Jonah: Hi, my name is Jonah, and when I first went to middle school, there were a lot of new people and I wanted to make friends with them. And a lot of people did not want to be friends with me. And that.. that's rejection.
I don't know why they didn't want to be friends with me. It made me feel sad. And I moved on the next day.
Choice 5
Leo: Um, I actually have been rejected once.
So I have had this time where I have got rejected and I have this friend who I want to hang out with all the time, but I can't really, because he's always hanging out with this other friend, which I know people would say, “why don't you all three just hang out?”
What I am sad about when that happens is so the guy who I want to hang out with. He is out with this other kid and this other kid doesn't want to hang out with me because… who knows?
And, uh, that, and I think that the example that you said, like he says things like, no, this is a two person game.
So stuff like that,
He says, “this is a two person game.”
He says, “you can't play this for some other reason.” He just makes excuses for me not to play with my friend.
I handled this rejection by walking away. Going to the bathroom for some reason, because that's where I always go when I need to process things. And, yeah…
Nina: You know, we have all experienced rejection. Whether you're a kid or even grownups, we feel it all the time.
If you've got a grown up near you, go ahead and ask them. I am sure they've experienced rejection many, many times.
But you know, that might not make it easier for you. And that's okay. But what it can do, understanding from other people who have gone through it is serve as reassurance that you're not going through it alone. You certainly aren't the first person who's experienced rejection. And even though sometimes it's hard, you're going to be okay when you come out the other side.
We're going to take a quick break. And when we return, we're looking for your advice. Seriously. Stick around.
[ASKING FOR YOUR ADVICE]
Nina: Welcome back to it's. Okay To Ask, a kid's advice podcast.
Before the break, we heard advice based on a question sent in by Nadia around how to handle rejection. Now it's your turn.
We want to come to you and ask, how do you handle rejection? Each of your peers brought in a question and you'll hear from one of them in just a moment, but after we had, but after you do, it's your opportunity to share some advice.
Here we go.
Choice 1
Aria: My name is Aria and my question is, what happens when your teacher puts you in groups? So you have to do group work and you're the only one talking and participating? How do you get the other kids motivated?
Choice 2
Bianca: Hi, my name is Bianca. Have you ever felt happy and sad at the same time? What do you do?
Choice 3
Cyla: Hi,. My name is Cyla.
And I have a question. Do you ever feel like there's something that you really liked and you do it all the time? Like watch TV all the time and then eventually you think, well… I don't like TV anymore where I don't like ice cream anymore. Do you ever feel like that?
So I'm asking if there's ever too much of a good thing.
Choice 4
Jonah: Hi, my name is Jonah and what do you do if your friends are fighting over what food to eat?
Choice 5
Leo: How do you handle rejection?
[WRAP-UP]
Nina: What do you think? What's your advice?
You can absolutely pause the show right now and share with whomever else you're listening with. And you can also share with us and we mean that. You can write to us or send us a voice message and we'll make sure your advice gets into the right hands.
Email. listen@akidspodcastabout.com.
And one last thing before we go, remember in the beginning, I shared that this is a special kind of podcast. One that is dynamically created so that no two listens are the same.
If you're ready to hear another advice to Nadia’s fantastic question around how to handle rejection, or if you're just curious about what others have to say.
Delete this episode from your podcast up and download it again for a whole new outcome.
If you're listening on a website, just hit refresh.
And remember: it's okay to ask for advice on whatever is going on in your world. You are not doing this alone, my friend.
Until next time, I'm Nina. Thanks for listening.
[CLOSING]
Nina: Thank you Nadia for your question around rejection and to all of our peers for their incredible advice.
If there’s a question you’d like to ask, or if you have advice to share, you can reach us at listen@akidspodcastabout.com.
It’s Okay To Ask is written by me, Nina Purewal. You can learn more about me and my work at NinaPurewal.com.
Our show is edited and produced by Matthew Winner with help from Chad Michael Snavely and the team at Sound On Studios. Our executive producer is Jelani Memory. And this show was brought to you by A Kids Podcast About.
Follow the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are found and check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.