Matthew asks, “What do you do if someone in your class is struggling with a direction or an expectation?” (Featuring answers from a 3rd grade class in Atlanta, Georgia.)
Matthew asks, “What do you do if someone in your class is struggling with a direction or an expectation?” (Featuring answers from a 3rd grade class in Atlanta, Georgia.)
* If there’s a question you’d like to ask, or if you have advice to share, you can reach us at listen@akidscot.com.
Follow the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are found and check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.
It’s OK To Ask: A Kids Advice Podcast
S1 EP10, Wrong Turns and Missed Directions
[INTRODUCTION]
Nina: This is It’s Okay To Ask: A Kids Advice Podcast.
I’m your host, Nina Purewal.
This is our last episode of the season and so we’re doing something a little different today. I’ll tell you more about that in a minute. But first…
We know that you get confronted with big, massive, sometimes scary questions all of the time about what you should do in certain situations, how to react and what to say, how to respond to certain people.
Here at A Kids Company About, we want to provide a safe space for you to ask questions and also get some great advice. But sometimes you have to ask a couple of people for advice before you know exactly what to do.
This season we heard from five kids from the United States and Canada: Leo, Aria, Jonah, Cyla and Bianca.
For this episode, we took a slightly different approach, as we wanted to hear from even more kids! We went to Cyla’s 3rd grade class in Atlanta, Georgia and invited them to answer our question and participate in our podcast.
Today's question comes from Matthew.
Matthew asks, “What do you do if someone in your class is struggling with a direction or an expectation?”
That's a great question, Matthew. And even grownups have a hard time with this.
So, what do you think? How do you support a classmate who is not following directions or is having a difficult time with class expectations?
This is a special episode, so why don't we hear from a handful of kids? What do you think?
Let's hear some advice.
[ADVICE FROM KIDS]
Choice 1
Kid 1: When someone in my class is struggling with direction. I like to…
I like to give that person a gentle reminder and it normally helps them get back on track.
Kid 2: I like to go, or I like to, if they're like next to me, I like to whisper to them like, “Hey, this is what you should be doing right now. You should, uh, uh, I think you could, I think I don't want you to get in trouble. You should be doing this right now.”
Kid 3: If someone in my class is struggling with a direction, Um, I would be silent and, um, try to get them to follow her. Um, I am.
I would be a leader and show them how to be, um, a leader.
Choice 2
Kid 4: If somebody in my class is struggling with directions, I remind them what the directions were.
Uh, it makes me stressed and. It makes me want to give up.
Kid 5: If somebody in my class was struggling, I would add a kind voice and say, “please don't be off topic and do the right thing and listen to directions.”
Kid 6: When a friend is struggling or doesn't know what the directions are, you say in a kind voice, what the directions are, and maybe let them focus a little bit. If you're being too loud.
I feel, I feel maybe bad for them because they didn't listen to their directions and don't know what to do now.
Choice 3
Kid 7: I would tell them to take a deep breath and, um, just calm down and just be calm and.
Take deep breaths and help them focus.
I would help them focus by, um, like, helping them, um, do something that they need help on.
Kid 8: What I would do if someone is struggling in my class for directions. Um, I would try and help them make, say, “What's wrong, take a deep breath. You can do this.” Um, if they're distracted or something. Um, and yeah.
Kid 9: if somebody's struggling to follow a direction, I could help.
If they're talking too much, when the teacher said to stop, I can put my finger over my lips to show him to be quiet. And if they're struggling on something, it's like schoolwork, I can, I can help them.
I could try to explain it. Um, if I know the answer, I could explain it.
Choice 4
Kid 10: If someone's struggling with, um, the direction they, it might be because they aren't listening because they have. Talking. So that might be the issue or you, or you could ask help for adult or classmate.
I think I would want to help if they were struggling, but maybe their fault, because they could be like talking. So. I could be a little like annoyed because they weren't and they were asking me she like help because they should've been listening.
Kid 11: If someone is struggling, then then I, I, um, I would get up and if I can't help them after on, I would try, I would try to help them later on. Yeah.
Like, if I'm like playing sports, maybe they will like fall and I could help them up. And if I'm not allowed to, I later on, I can, I can help them heal.
Kid 12: If someone is struggling, I will, I would go ask a teacher and say, “Can I sit with them? Can I sit with them?”
And, um, if they need any help, I could help with them with like a math problem or something. Or if they don't get something I could help them with.
Well, I feel kind of bad for them because I want them to understand, I want them to understand what we are doing so they can get it right.
Choice 5
Kid 13: If someone was having. Trouble with directions in my class, I would help them with the directions and make sure they knew what they were doing before I went back to my own work.
Uh, I would feel kind of sorry for them.
Kid 14: If somebody was struggling with some expectations or something else, I would ask them to tell the teacher about their problem they would be happening and then they could probably fix it.
I'm kind of sorry for them.
Kid 15: If someone is struggling with direction or an expectation, I would tell them to calm down, take a deep breath and tell them you got it.
It makes me feel a little happy. Cause I'm giving them a little bit of things so they like know what to do.
Choice 6
Kid 16: If they're struggling with a decision, I could maybe help them.
I could help them by sharing notes.
Kid 17: If somebody was struggling like in the classroom, um, maybe they could tell the teacher, maybe they could take a walk around the school or something to take deep breaths.
And if it was maybe at home or something, you could tell your mom and dad, maybe you could go outside and, um, take a walk with them or something.
And if I was struggling in the class, I would, um, uh, maybe take deep breaths and maybe if it was from a person or something, maybe I would move a right to focus. And if it was at home, maybe I would do the same and walk outside or play outside.
Kid 18: If you're struggling and like a direction or expectation, you can like help a friend if hey’re having trouble.
Adult: Do you like sketch it out with them or…?
You can help them with the project and help them have the materials for it and all that stuff.
Choice 7
Kid 19: I would tell them to take a deep breath and I would help them.
Adult: How would you help them?
I would ask them what they were doing and I would tell them, like, I break it down for them so they can understand it.
Kid 20: When someone needs help, usually I try and like maybe encouraged them to like, like, um… try and make them like pay attention and listen to like what people are saying and what they're like, kind of teaching you or stuff like that.
I focus on, um, like trying to listen and look, and look people in the eyes when they're talking and try and, um, just, um, just, um, tell, tell they tell me what I do and I do it.
Kid 21: So if one of my classmates are having a hard time to follow directions, um, I'll tell them to take a deep breath or to try to be calm.
Choice 8
Kid 22: You should tell him to pay attention to the coach. Who's playing to Sharon to tell everybody about it and tell him, not interrupt anybody. Cause he might do that too.
Kid 23: When someone's struggling on directions, uh, I would say, take a deep breath and calm down. You don't need to be stressed. Just rethink about it and stay cool.
It makes me feel like they're they might not be following directions very well. And. And it also makes me feel like that they're not going to be very good with this, what they're doing.
[SIMILAR EXPERIENCES]
Nina: Welcome back.
You just heard from a couple of kids. Were their answers similar or different? Maybe two kids had the same advice and that’s okay!
The advice we often give others comes from a place of what we have experienced in life. What we've been through or what we've learned so far through our experiences helps us figure out how to respond when new things come our way, or when friends are asking for advice about their experiences.
Sometimes our experiences are similar, and so we give similar advice. And sometimes our unique experiences make us especially qualified to give different advice.
And other times still, we have not gone through something like what the person is asking. If that’s the case, you might even say, “I’m not sure what to do. I’ve never been through that before. And that’s okay, too.
I wonder if any of our peers have ever helped a classmate who is not following directions well? I wonder if one of the peers has had trouble with class expectations?
Let's find out.
Choice 1
Kid 1: Don't let it bother you because you're not in charge of what they do, but if they are really not paying attention or not, um, following direction or doing the correct expectations, you can say, “Hey, uh, I see that you are talking a little bit and you're not really focusing. Maybe you can try taking a break and coming back and then you can get back on track.”
Kid 2: I think it's, I think you should, uh, ask a neighbor what you should be doing if you see people, other people doing the same thing and like getting ready to do something.
I think you should ask someone if you weren't paying attention, what to do.
Kid 3: If you're struggling, then I try to ask for help and stuff.
I try to, um, like listen more and. And ask them to repeat what they say. They're saying
Choice 2
Kid 4: Normally I just take a deep breath and uh, I kinda break whatever's bothering me or stretching me out, uh, into smaller parts if it's like, oh problem
Kid 5: I could offer advice by let them listen the first time and, and try to stay on topic.
I would remind them that the right thing to do is always what is asked of you. And, yeah…
Kid 6: Maybe say “focus more” and maybe I'll do a better job of listening more.
Like my friend in speech, she would use some fidgets to help her focus.
Choice 3
Kid 7: I help someone with their… I would help someone with. If they needed help or if they needed to, if they didn't understand a question, I would help them.
I would, um, like tell them, like help them figure out the problem and tell them like how to do it. And, like, break it up into easy ways for them to do it again.
If they needed help another time. And I would teach them like a way, like a strategy.
Kid 8: If you were being annoying like you usually do this, I would say to you, “I would say stop doing that right now. (laughter)”
Kid 9: You can ask, ask a friend for some help or ask the teacher or your parents.
Choice 4
Kid 10: Maybe I would do like, Hey, you might need to stop talking or put like my finger. I'm on my mouth and say shhh. And like, something like that, if they're been talking or if like they just haven't been listening,
Kid 11: Anybody struggling, they can always tell someone trusted like a friend or adult and tell them what your problem is. And it's not like they're going to not help you because everybody helps everybody.
Kid 12: No response given
Choice 5
Kid 13: I tell them to, um, either. How from another kid or a teacher, or have their parents help them with schoolwork.
Kid 14: Maybe take deep, deep breaths
Kid 15: I would try to make them feel better if they were like a little shy or like really nervous that they didn't know where to go.
Choice 6
Kid 16: It makes me feel like I want to help them.
Kid 17: They should maybe focus because it's distracting other people and if they focus, then all of them could do well on a test or not a test. And it doesn't matter if it's tests, you always have to focus in school about, um, all the stuff that you're learning.
Kid 18: Maybe like tell them the steps of maybe they forgot it. Yeah. And then they can probably finish the thing in time and get a good grade on it.
Choice 7
Kid 19: So if I was playing baseball, And my friend was catcher and he always threw it to second base when you were supposed to throw it to the pitcher, I would tell him “when you catch it, you throw it to the pitcher instead of second base.”
I would encourage them in practice.
Kid 20: It's not really up to me if they're not listening or not, but it's like, I don't really care cause then they don't know what to do.
Adult: Does it bring the whole team down though?
Sort of.
Adult: So you want everybody to do their..
But I do want everybody to do their best.
Kid 21: I'd tell them to take a deep breath or to try to stay calm.
I would ask if they could try to be a little more calmer.
Choice 8
Kid 22: I will give him advice to listen to the code.
And I'll remind him every day to listen to the coach. He should remind him every day to listen to the coach. Practice more and all that stuff.
Kid 23: I'd say write five things down that would help you calm down on a sheet of paper and then always think about that.
One: Calm down.
Two: Take a deep breath.
Three: Don't overreact.
Four: Be positive about your thoughts.
And Five: Be careful about what you're thinking about it.
[PAUSE AND BREAK]
Nina: I can assure you that we all go through these experiences. Even grownups. If you’ve got one near you, just ask!
I bet there’s even more that one adult listening who would admit that it’s not always easy for them to follow all of their job’s expectations or rules where they work.
And even though it's hard, I promise you're going to be okay when you come out the other side if this is something you struggle with, too .
We're going to take a quick break here. And when we return, we're actually looking for your advice.
Seriously, stick around.
[ASKING FOR YOUR ADVICE]
Nina: Welcome back to It’s Okay to Ask: A Kids Advice Podcast.
Before the break, we heard advice based on a question sent in by Matthew around what to do if someone in your class is struggling with a direction given by the teacher or an expectation of the class or school.
We’ve spent the last 10 episodes exploring questions sent in by you, the listeners.
But we received many, many more questions than we could possibly get to this season.
Aria: What happens if you see a homeless person, but you didn't bring any money or food and you really want to help them? How do you help them?
Bianca: What do you do if you get bullied at school?
Cyla: What do you do if you see someone and you see someone else and one of them is bullying the other one. What do you do? Do you stand up for them or do you walk away and pretend like it never happened? Or do you tell someone like an adult?
What do you do?
Jonah: Everyone at school is coughing and it makes me feel unsafe and even a little nervous to go into the school building. What do you think I should do?
Leo: Do you have any advice on how to be kind? Like, if you're like just having a bad day and you don't want to be kind to people?
Nina: I’m in complete awe of the questions we have received from you all and the brilliant responses. I have heard from so many adults and grownups about the discussions you’re having at home around these questions. It just makes you realize that you’re not alone in pondering these questions.
Kids AND grown-ups struggle all the time with what to do in certain situations. So remember, it’s okay to ask!
Now it's our turn to ask you.
Do you have any questions that you want answered for season 2? We would love to hear from you! Write down your question or record yourself asking your question, then email us at listen@akidsco.com.
[WRAP-UP]
Nina: And that’s a wrap for season 1 of It’s OK To Ask!
We look forward to bringing you new episodes in the future. In the meantime, enjoy all of the episodes of this season. Our episodes are dynamically created. That means that you can listen to them, delete them, then download them again for a totally new experience and different answers from different kids!
So cool, right?!
And one more time, we would love to hear from you! What was your favorite episode? What advice do you have to share on our questions? Or what question do you have as you look for advice?
You can write to us or send us a voice message and we'll be sure your advice gets into the right hands. Just email listen@akidsco.com.
And one last thing before we go. We would absolutely love for you to help new people discover It’s OK To Ask. You can do that by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.
You can share with a friend. You can have your teacher play an episode in the class.
Each of these helps new ears find the show.
And remember, it's okay to ask for advice on whatever is going on in your world.
You were not alone, my friend.
Until next time, I’m Nina. Thanks for listening.
We so appreciate your support this entire season, and we couldn't have done it without you!
[CLOSING]
Nina: Thank you Matthew for that phenomenal question, and to all of our peers for your fantastic advice. And THANK YOU to all of our listeners out there.
We so appreciate your support and participation!
If there’s a question you’d like to ask, or if you have advice to share, you can reach us at listen@akidsco.com.
It’s Okay To Ask is written by me, Nina Purewal. You can learn more about me and my work at NinaPurewal.com.
Our show is edited and produced by the wonderful Matthew Winner with help from Chad Michael Snavely and the team at Sound On Studios. Our executive producer is Jelani Memory. And this show was brought to you by A Kids Podcast About.
Follow the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are found and check out other podcasts made for amazing kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.